Applying for Post Docs is strange because one is supposed to take on the whole "Look at me. You want me!" mentality which is kind of awkward and absurd but I guess, needs to be done so people know who they are hiring. I am actually attempting the opposite approach, which is "Hey look at me, I am strange and awkward." haha. It actually takes alot of the pressure off and because I am strange and awkward I don't feel bad about it. I figure people need to know what they are going into with me as much as I do with them. Anyways, on to the story.
So yesterday I sent out a Post Doc email to someone at Haaavaaadd, it was the opposite of professionality but again, that's me.
It went something like this with names and identifying information removed:
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Subject: Fun Science == Foo + Josiah
Hey Foo,
Hah, Sorry about the cheesy subject line I was just excited to write you. My
name is Josiah Zayner, I am a Ph.D. student in Biochemistry and Molecular
Biophysics in Tobin Sosnick’s lab at the University of Chicago and I plan to
graduate sometime before the summer. I was wondering if you were looking for
Post Docs to work in your lab? Actually, to be honest I have been a fan of
your work for a while. I study LOV(Light-Oxygen-Voltage) domains and one of
the properties is that upon light absorption there is an intersystem
crossing from a singlet state to excited triplet state. I was trying to
figure out how to use electrostatic interactions from amino acid
substitutions or metal ions to modify the photocycle and read about you
using those nano magnetic fields. Thought it was super cool. Then I met
Bar at the Photosensory Gordon Conference and I just recently saw X
give a talk on his work here at UofC for a faculty interview and! I was
talking to Bozhi Tian yesterday(do you know him?) and he said I should
definitely email you. I have always been a little intimidated by your lab
but have decided that I might as well write you. Honestly, I like how your
research combines so much, engineering, programing, biochemistry, biology,
physics. That is kind of how I approach my research. I like to find a cool
idea and run with it, not limiting myself to specific techniques.
As I mentioned, I work on light activated LOV domains. I have been studying
them using lots of spectroscopy (UV, CD, NMR, FTIR) and even more protein
engineering and mutational analysis, to determine how the light activation
chemistry and thermodynamics work and how to make other proteins light
activated. In a relative short period of time I have been able to uncover
the mechanisms and chemistry of how LOV domains function and apply this to
novel optogenetic tools. My skills however are not limited to Biochemistry
and Biophysics, I can program in multiple languages (C, Perl, PHP and
smatterings of others including ASM) and for multiple microprocessors
including TI and AVR. I am author of IP Sorcery an open source network
engineering program of tens of thousands of lines of code written in C and
part of a number of Linux distributions. I have autodidactic electrical
engineering skills and have experience reverse engineering electronics and
have accomplished projects such as building an accelerometer based computer
mouse (see
http://sosnick.uchicago.edu/people/jz.html or if you're really
bored
http://zaynertech.blogspot.com) and also inventing a wireless cell
density spectrometer that sits in the cell culture. I built a prototype and
tried to patent it through UChicago Tech though I was unsuccessful; they
said the IP space was too small, HAH. However, the thing I am most proud of
is the Chromochord, a biosensor that functions as a musical instrument. The
protein functions as a kind of pulse width modulated digital output. Using
light one modulates the absorbance of the engineered LOV domain and
determines the note played. I recently received $2500 fellowship from the
University of Chicago to work on further development of this device. I know
lots of this isn't directly related to your work but I guess I am just
trying to give you knowledge about my skills and loves and hopefully in the
process impress you ever so slightly if I may.
Overall I think we both would gain alot from working together. With my
biophysics/biochemistry, engineering and programming skills I imagine we
could execute some pretty amazing projects. Attached is my CV with one
caveat, I am days? away from submitting another first author paper to PNAS
(waiting for a collaborator to send me a supplementary figure AGG!) and a
month or two? from submitting two more, one from a collaboration that was
just finished when I was a visiting researcher in Amsterdam over the summer
and the other, an almost finished manuscript from a project I worked on
alone in the lab.
Sorry for the longish email.
Josiah Zayner
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Yeah, yeah I know The email is a little over the top. Maybe? I was actually just trying to be honest and myself. The guy on his website portrays himself as this fun guy. This was his response:
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Dear Josiah,
Thank you for your interest in my laboratory. Unfortunately I do
not have any positions available. I wish you the best of success in
your search for a research position and in your future research
career.
Best wishes,
Foo
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I mean maybe he receives 20 of these emails a day and copies and pastes a response because maybe he doesn't have any more space in his lab. It was just weird to feel like cattle. All I hear from PIs is that they hate when people send them some copy and pasted email for a Post Doc. But when potential Post Docs spend an hour writing you an email (I probably spent 10 minutes figuring out if the subject should be: Fun Science = Foo + Josiah, Fun Science && Foo + Josiah, Fun Science == Foo + Josiah, hahaha) and receive a copy and pasted response of two sentences? what do people expect me to do? Spend even more time on an email I know someone won't read?
It makes one even more jaded about scientists. Not much one can do but keep trying harder. Wheew the good thing is I was going to make the email also be an interactive Perl script, HAHAHA. What a cool email that would have been for such a shitty response.